Many of the millions of couples who live in separate homes – the modern phenomenon known as ‘living apart together’– wish at heart for more traditional cohabitation and marriage, according to new research.
The British Sociological Association’s annual conference in Leeds heard that around five million people are now conducting relationships where they live in different homes from their partner.
Professor Simon Duncan, of the University of Bradford, said this was partly due to financial or work constraints. But even where women had made a strategic decision to live apart, they often felt guilty about it or considered living together.
Of the 572 survey respondents, 30% preferred having separate homes, 32% said they lived apart because it was too early in the relationship, and 30% said outside constraints such as financial issues prevented them living together.
Professor Duncan said that of the women he interviewed “many of those choosing to live apart in fact would ideally desire cohabitation and often marriage, sometimes with children."
“Sometimes gendered norms of cohabitation are avoided or relaxed and women enjoy sidestepping traditional divisions of labour, or are glad to escape possible unpleasant situations created by partnership with men,” he added. “However, many women see these benefits as inconsequential or temporary, where the more complete intimacy of the family should be re-affirmed through cohabitation and marriage.”
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